Leadership in Uncertainty: How to Stay Grounded When Everything Feels Out of Control
Last Saturday, my family and I spent the better part of a very long day in the Dallas–Fort Worth airport.
We were headed to Oklahoma for spring break, and if you’ve ever tried to get to Oklahoma, you know: there is no direct flight. There is only connection, hope, and the mercy of the airline gods. Our first flight was delayed. Which meant our connection was tight. Which meant Philippe was doing mental math in real time while I watched his jaw set in that very specific way that means: he is managing something.
Dallas is not a small airport. There are trams. There are terminals that require other terminals to reach them. There was going to be running — we were not for it. So we made the call: we switched flights.
The Illusion of Control
Switching flights bought us time — enough for a real airport dinner, which was actually lovely… until Philippe’s watch buzzed.
Gate change. Delay. Another delay. A longer delay.
He’d report each update. The kids would overhear. And what followed was a waterfall of questions from two humans who were deeply concerned and completely unable to do anything about it:
What does delayed mean?
Are we going to get there?
When are we going home?
Why is it delayed?
What does delayed mean?
And the simplest, most honest answer — the one at the center of so many uncertain situations — was: We don’t know.
We switched flights to feel like we had control. And then that flight got delayed too. The original flight? The one we abandoned? It eventually left. We would have made it.
When You Can’t Fix the System
My personal coping mechanism, in case you’re wondering: I wandered into a shop and bought a foot cream so luxurious it felt like a small act of defiance, and a rose hand lotion because it was the only soft thing available in that moment.
Retail therapy. 10 out of 10. Would recommend.
We finally made it to bed at 1:24am. I wish I could say the airport was a one-off. But I’m also three weeks into switching my cell phone carrier, and I’m starting to think the universe is trying to make a point.
What began as a simple upgrade turned into:
a delayed phone,
an incorrectly documented trade-in,
multiple customer service calls with kind people who couldn’t actually help,
and a new phone number to call when I’ve “mustered up the strength to go another round.”
(Reader: I have not mustered.)
Also, my bill is not cheaper.
A Leadership Reality: You Can’t Control Broken Systems
Here’s what both experiences had in common:
In both situations, I was a cog in a system I did not build — and could not fix. The airport doesn’t care about my travel plans. Customer service systems don’t reorganize themselves because I stayed on hold longer, and no amount of effort, strategy, or persistence was going to change that fundamental truth in the moment.
This is something every leader encounters eventually:
You will face situations where control is simply not available. So what do you do then?
Tiny Leadership Tip: Manage Your Mind When You Can’t Manage the Outcome
When something goes sideways — and you’ve done everything you can — the only thing left to manage is your own thinking.
Try asking yourself:
How do I want to feel about this situation? What would I need to think in order to feel that way?
Because the thoughts you choose give meaning to what’s happening.
“This is a disaster”
“This is just a long day”
Both are available. One will make the next hour survivable. The other will not.
This is the heart of emotional intelligence in leadership — choosing a mindset that allows you to stay steady, even when circumstances are not.
Finding Steadiness in Uncertainty
Eventually, the kids fell asleep on our shoulders. The rose lotion smelled soft and grounding all the way to the gate. And Oklahoma — despite everything — was worth it.
Uncertainty didn’t go away. But our experience of it shifted. And that’s often the real work of leadership: Not controlling every outcome, but choosing how you meet the moment.
P.S.
If you’re in a season filled with a lot of “we don’t know” — in your work, your team, or your organization — that might be exactly when you need dedicated thinking space.
I have a few leadership coaching spots open this spring.
If you want to talk, just hit reply. No pitch — just a conversation.
I’m glad you’re here.
— Kate